You’re Paying for Professional Advice: Consider It!
Credit: @itssammoqadam
I’ve raised this point before in my blogs, but it comes up because it’s important: Parties in mediation are often much more stressed and emotional than they realize, and in turn, can create a greater vulnerability in making decisions for the wrong reasons. Occasionally, this can escalate to the point where one can become their own worst enemy from a practicality standpoint.
While there are certainly some attorneys out there who seem to do a great job smearing the ethics and competence of the profession, most are very competent professionals who are truly trying to help their clients. However, great attorneys can be rendered nearly useless when they have a client making it difficult for them to do their job effectively. Clients can unintentionally impact their position negatively by acting out, or by not following the instructions their attorney gave them about how and when to speak. Most importantly, clients can allow their emotions to take control of their decision making against the advice of their attorney. Please understand that your attorney might not be giving you an answer you want to hear, but that’s not really the job. Their job is to tell you the truth and help you make the best decisions for yourself. A bad choice might not always be very consequential to you, but oftentimes the stakes are actually quite high, and a party can fail to see that until it is too late. Do not allow your ego to convince you that you have a better understanding of the situation as it applies to the law than your attorney.
My role as the mediator is somewhat different, but there are times when my input is very relevant and helpful to the process. I’m not making decisions on the parties’ behalf or giving them legal advice, however, it is important at times that I help a party understand a point the other party has made, or that a particular course they want to take might risk the chances of resolving in mediation. Sometimes I’m unable to elaborate a whole lot, or have to keep things general, as I’m in a position where I also have to hold back information the opposing party wishes to keep confidential.
Regardless, some parties fail to heed the warnings of myself or their attorney about a given action and proceed with a method they’ve devised for themselves. In the past, I had a party ignore my warning that a much different request than the one verbally agreed upon without good reason would completely tank the possibility of an agreement, when considering the lack of trust the other party had for them. Luckily, it avoided litigation in the end, but not before the party lost the chance at the solution they really wanted, and filed a lawsuit without attorney knowledge - potentially exposing themselves to losing a large sum. Had the involved professionals not reiterated their concerns and ultimately helped steer the ship in a different direction, things could have ended much worse for all parties.
So, when you’re having an issue that calls for an attorney and/or mediator, please make sure you’re hiring someone you feel you can trust, who has done a good job explaining what’s going on, and explains to you how certain actions by you, or the other side, could affect you individually. Once you arrive at mediation, also try to not let your emotions get the best of you, and understand that your attorney and the mediator, while not always delivering desirable news, are just trying to help you out of your situation in a way that works best for you. Their honesty and years of experience can really help you change things for the better if you remain open minded!