The lengthy amount of time most people have been spending at home is beginning to take its toll in various forms. You have likely seen in the news that in the U.S. and other countries, divorce has spiked since the pandemic began. This spike was not very surprising. Less talked about is an increase in neighborly disputes. I had a small spike in people reaching out regarding such disputes. Clients who were previously on the fence about mediation have contacted me looking for help quickly once quarantine began.

With the increase of time spent at home, issues people had before this can quickly become amplified, and new ones can certainly pop up. Many people have had to change their schedule completely. They are going from being gone all day at the office to being at home on zoom calls most of the day. It is considerably harder to get things done with the stress of the pandemic and all of the changes that have come along with it. For those who have young children and are trying to work at home without childcare, it has been especially difficult and frustrating.

Since we are all home more often and almost all of us are under new stresses, we are more sensitive to everything around us, particularly for renters or those who live in multi-unit buildings. You’ll probably hear your neighbor upstairs doing their home workout regularly. You’ll hear kids running around all day because they are a little restless, and there aren’t as many safe group outdoor activities at the moment. You may listen to more from your neighbors overall, as they will likely hear more from you.

You may have more time on your hands and several unexpected additional stressors in your life that make it much easier for tensions to rise—you and everybody else, that is. In my observation, people are currently having trouble managing stress, stimuli, schedule changes, and many other things. This seems to be the natural result of the changes and challenges we are facing collectively and individually.

So, if you find yourself in this situation, whether you’re actively feeding or just stewing over problems you’re having with your neighbor - what do you do?

You could certainly file a lawsuit. However, these are usually nuisance - type cases, which are often difficult to prove unless one party is acting in a way that violates the lease terms or local ordinances. Courts also don’t seem to like dealing with them very much, understandably so. Simple solutions to the problems are virtually nonexistent sometimes, mainly when related to ongoing contentious personal issues between the parties or resulting from noise complaints caused by fairly reasonable living activities. Those types of noise complaints are usually due to poor soundproofing between units more than anything, and can only be slightly improved without rather expensive soundproofing solutions. Because of this, merely trying to be quieter or getting a new neighbor will not likely make much difference in sound reduction.

While a lawsuit seems complicated, which it likely will be, doing nothing is equally problematic. Sometimes feuding gets to the point where the parties cannot get along and start harassing each other or becoming even more sensitive to any noise or annoyance coming from the neighbor. Eventually, it can escalate to where the police get called for some reason. If the situation becomes truly dangerous, a criminal restraining order can result. Although most cases fall short of the criteria for that, some people choose to file a civil harassment suit to get a restraining order. However, courts are very reluctant to issue these without an excellent reason. Also, leaving the parties with a now much more tense relationship and no clear path to resolution. Luckily, Los Angeles courts have begun sending these cases to mediation.

But even without escalation to that extent, these cases can still have a tremendous impact on people. Many people seek resolution because they or their family are experiencing sleep loss or some other issue that impacts their ability to maintain focus and perform daily functions well. Eventually, doing nothing will not be an option anymore.

If picking up and moving isn’t an option on the table for you, it will be difficult to resolve the matter on your own. Parties with tension between them often struggle to communicate effectively and get beyond disagreement to discuss practical, logical solutions to help them move forward.

Mediation not only offers a considerable privacy advantage to courts and other avenues, but it is also the most likely to de-escalate things by its very nature. In addition, the parties can come up with solutions to their own problems and not place their home lives in a stranger’s hands. Except for cases that involve more serious legal or safety issues, neighborly disputes are far better suited for mediation than any other dispute resolution method.